Pride in pain

Take pride in your pain, you are stronger than those who have none.... Lois Lowry

Many times in this past year I have been told that I am very strong.  Repeatedly told that I am stronger than I think.  Those words coming from someone I care about and who I know cares about me, holds some weight for me.  I lean toward believing them and accepting it as truth.
But, what do they see that I don't?
Anyone who spends a significant amount of time around me will see that I am in physical pain.  It is difficult to hide for very long.  Depending on what I am doing, I can present myself as pain free and able bodied for a little while.   After awhile though, my body gives me away.  No matter how hard I try, pain breaks through and my movements give it away.  Is it that they see that I am in pain and that I try to pretend that it isn't there, that makes me strong in their eyes?  Is there strength in trying to be *normal*?
I am stubborn.  Even though I have limitations, I still try to do everything for myself.  Pushing myself hard, feels like a must for me.  More than once recently I have been ordered to sit down.   I have been told that I could go on the shopping trip but only if I agreed to be in my wheelchair so it wouldn't exhaust me.  It is difficult for me to ask for help and more difficult to accept it most days.  I want to be able to do things myself.  That is not always the best for me.  It doesn't stop me from trying.  Being the person who has to be watched over and protected just doesn't sit well with me most days.  Is watching me try anyway, the thing that makes others tell me that I am strong?  Is there strength in trying?
Recently, I fell.  My hip moved in a wrong way for just a split second.  My leg would no longer hold me up, and I went down.   Two people were there and it scared them both.  Mickey was one of them and she was able to grab a hold of me enough that I didn't land hard.  To top it off, my body did what it does in response to things like that sometimes.  The nerves go completely out of control and leave me with little to no control over what my leg will do.  It brings with it, the worst pain of all and a lot of embarrassment.  I want to be back up and on my own two feet as soon as possible.  Of course, no one else wants that for me right then.  Is it that others see the lack of fear in me to try again, that makes them say I am strong?  Is there strength in facing the fear head on?
I've only looked at the physical sensation of pain.  We all know that there is emotional pain as well that can hurt even more so.  Pain can be the thing that shows the true colors of an individual.  Most who are in pain do not see themselves as strong by any means.  I sure don't.  The quote is about having hope in the pain.  Being encouraged that you are strong enough to deal with it.