I am Nothing

I don't need anyone else to tell me that I am nothing.  I do a pretty good job of saying that to myself on a regular basis.  Bashing myself.  Going as far as kicking myself when I am down.  Becoming mean and hurtful and meaning every word of it when I speak it to myself.
I am nothing, echoes through my thoughts on a regular basis. The meaning so strong that it is tattooed on my soul.  The voice of the original speaker of the words became unrecognizable long ago.
I am nothing, mean nothing, worth nothing...The heavy brass links of every letter from every word, tightly wrapped around my neck.  The weight is suffocating.
Get your disgusting worthless ass out of my sight!  The words of my parent to me as she pulled my sister across her lap to spank her.  I had convinced my sister to sled down the small hill at the side of our house.  Our snow covered path ended in the middle of the street.  No one was suppose to sled there.  I wanted to because it was faster.  I got her to do it with me.  She got in trouble.  I got called names and sent away. Dismissed.  Rejected.  I was the bad influence.  I was nothing.
I was also 7 years old.