Defiance

This blog is actually a request.  It is not exactly a subject that I want to explore right now.  It was pointed out to me tonight that I am being defiant.  That was not a good feeling for me at all.  I don't see myself as defiant.  Only, tonight when it was pointed out what I was doing and I was asked to really look into myself about why I had done it, being defiant kind of fits.
I have just entered into a 3 month contract of sorts.  I am the one who asked for it and I agreed to the boundaries being placed around me.  Two people have authority over me and I have agreed to it completely.  None of this was forced on me.  This afternoon, right off the bat when faced with an authoritative tone and look, I turned away.  She was not trying to be that way.  She was actually just trying to teach me something, give me some instruction, and when I felt that authority coming from her, I literally turned my back on her.
It was pointed out to me, that not only was that very rude, it was dismissive on my part.  Definitely not the way to begin a new relationship that actually includes teaching, structure and discipline.  I feel pretty ashamed of myself at this moment.  I didn't mean to do it, I really didn't.  It was a gut reaction.  Right now I don't know how to break it.

I have apologized.  I do see that this is something that must change in my life.  I know that defiance like this is not a good thing at all.  I feel sort of humbled at this moment.  Defiance toward someone I respect is not acceptable.