I am a person who is very tactile to begin with. I am the one that is always touching things, wanting to know how they feel. I am also the one that gravitates toward the softness. When we travel there is always a *softie* in the car with me. Usually one of my stuffed animals. If it is a long car trip then the softie is more likely to be my pillow, feather of course. My partner finds me more often than not stroking something that is soft. Most of the time, I don't even realize that I am doing it until it is pointed out. With the car trips or in times of high stress, stroking the softness aids in calming me.
The hands of other people coming towards my face is a bad trigger for me. It sets off alarm bells inside of me. This comes from being a little girl who was taught not to cry, in a very cruel manner, that included taunting and face slapping. This may be why I have never played around with face slapping or mouth soaping within the lifestyle of spanking and/or BDSM. It just brings someone else's hand much too close to my face. I have talked with my partner recently about wanting to get past this. I want to be able to allow those that I trust to also touch my face more freely.
Hands are most often the very first thing I notice about a person. It doesn't matter what gender they are. My eyes will wander to the hands and I am more likely to be following the hands than looking at the face or meeting the eyes of another. I don't know where this has come from. It has developed into a fetish of sorts. What I mean is that I discovered that I enjoy doing hand worship. This has been with other females only. Holding their hand, especially of one who has or will be spanking me and offering my hands and mouth to massage, worship and care for, gives me such an incredibly good feeling. (This usually isn't a part of a spanking, it is more about their authority past or present) Something as simple as being able to just hold their hand does so much for me emotionally. It may seem sexual to have the fingers of another in my mouth and adoring them, but for me it has never exactly felt sexual. With my life partner it very much can be, but even then it isn't always. I don't have a sexual response while doing this. My partner does have a sexual response when I do this. It is something she enjoys receiving very much. At that moment, during that time, it is an adoration as well as a submission that feels wonderful to me. It is a gift that I enjoy giving.
Having things in my mouth is difficult for me for many reasons, none of them pleasant. Yet, when it comes to hand worship, I don't feel the same fear or reservations. (I also enjoy giving foot worship. With this, I do struggle with toes in my mouth.)
Hands can do so much. There is the *bad* we can all think of, but so much more that is good! A simple caress has the power to change a scenario. A swat to the bottom. The beckoning finger or the pointed warning one. A simple wave hello. The outstretched hand. Holding onto someone, helping them up. Pointing the way and opening the door. Stroking a face tenderly.
So many wonderful things!
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