Saturday, April 9, 2016

Sometimes Life Sucks!

Ever just have one of those days where you ask yourself, *What's wrong with me?*  There is nothing wrong that you can pinpoint, yet nothing seems right either.  It is more than just a *blah* type of feeling.
I know I am fighting with exhaustion.  I know I am very stressed.  Is that all it is?  Is that really what has me feeling the way I do?  Do I need to just kick myself in the ass and tell myself to get over it already?
Depression is dragging me down.  That is always something that I think I should just be able to *get over*.  I know it is not that simple.  I still try to press through it and tell myself that it will get better.
What I haven't shared is that Mickey needs surgery.  The fact that they are risking serious injury to her by waiting for insurance to okay it, is killing me.  I finally begged her to call a lawyer.  The surgery she had in October 2015 has caused her trouble from the beginning.  She has been in pain all of this time.  Almost two weeks ago they found the reason.  Staples have come undone and tore a hole in her stomach.  It took her vomiting blood, for them to finally find the problem.  Now, even though she is bleeding internally AND what should be in her stomach is leaking out and she is at risk for peritonitis and sepsis,  they still have not fixed the problem!  It is insane!  To me it is very much a case of malpractice.  All of us are frustrated and stressed.  Mickey is not doing very well.  I love her more than my own life and there is not a damn thing I can do to help her.  Even the surgeon has called to check up on her and has called the insurance company himself.  We need help and don't know where to turn anymore, so I asked her to call a lawyer.
Sometimes life just sucks.  That is what I am thinking right now.  The health care system sucks.  I understand that life isn't fair but damn.... can't just a few more things go right for a change?

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