Grrrr

Writing isn't something that I really want to do right now.  A part of me just wants to complain that life isn't fair.  Well, it isn't!  Complaining sure is not going to change it any.  There are things that I have no control over but still wish that I could change.  I am banging my head against a brick wall.  Not that that is doing me any good either.
The state I am in right now could easily lead me down a path of deep depression.  All around me I see all the things that I can't do and that I can't change.  And ya know what?  I don't even want to try and look for what I can do right now!  I am angry and I am frustrated.
Anger is my friend.  Normally I am afraid of my own anger.  Especially if I am angry with myself.  This time there is no fear.  I am angry with Mickey's doctors and her insurance.  She is bleeding internally and in pain and they are waiting for it to either get worse and seriously threaten her life, or they get paid!  Where in the hell is compassion in that?  Where is the *First do no harm*?  She has been suffering with this since they did the surgery in the first place.  It has taken them 4 months to figure out what the actual problem is and now they are waiting before fixing their mistakes! This makes NO sense to me.
Yes, I am angry.  I have always told myself that it is what I do with the anger that makes the difference.  Will my phone calls make any difference here?  Will I feel better if I just make them anyway?  Telling someone else that it is cruel to make her keep waiting like this isn't going to change anything.  Can I be happy that finally we know for certain what the problem is?