I don't remember the name of the program that generated this message for me. All I did was insert my first name one day last week and this is the comments/card that was generated for me.
As I read it I was a little stunned by the message because it seriously hit home with me. Dealing with the death of my father who also was one of my abusers has really forced me to face some hard truths.
Growing up, even with the abuses and rage and alcoholism, I adored my father. He was a lot of horrible things but I still was given those times of being Daddy's beloved little girl. I was special to him for a lot of wrong reasons. When I was young, I didn't understand that at all. I defended him fiercely. He was the parent who took care of me and showed me kindness. He was also the monster of my nightmares.
This card that was generated seconds after I put in my name and no other information, hit my feelings on the nose. In some ways it applies to both parents that I grew up with. What I know is that I am a stronger person now. I don't like what I had to go through but I know that all of it has contributed to the woman I am today.
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