At the moment, this life that I am living is filled with stresses that I wish were not there. Daily I am faced with things that seem impossible to work through. I feel like I have reached my breaking point. None of it is pleasant. There doesn't seem to be much in the way of solutions. It is hard!
Being a parent is not always fun or pleasant. Having adult children sure has not made life easier, at least not right now. I am not sure what to do when they present more and more problems in our life. They want our help and keep causing chaos, stress and misery for us. They have a sense of entitlement that I cannot figure out where it came from. I just want it all to end.
I am grounded enough to understand that life is not always easy or fair. What do you do when 99% of the stress is coming from outside of the core unit? At what point do you stand up and say enough!? Where do you draw the line of not caring anymore? How much abuse can one heart take? How much disrespect is too much? How much pain do you allow before you just leave?
My thoughts have gone to very dark places recently. All of it has been done because of things that are being done to me right now. The dark thoughts have come from not knowing any longer how to deal with the hell that is happening in my own home. It doesn't feel like it is my home anymore. It sure isn't my sanctuary anymore. It is an impossible situation and with all of me, I want it to end.
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