Last night I spent some time with Miss Jenn. For the first time, she bound me to a table. There is something about tight bondage with someone I completely trust, that makes me feel so safe. There was no way that I was going anywhere. My movement was completely limited and controlled by her. As someone who is disabled, my movements are limited anyway. Adding the element of bondage to what we are doing, just takes me higher. I do go much more into the submissive head space. Bondage has me completely engaged and it is no longer about what I can't do physically. It becomes about what I can't do because she has made it that I cannot. It is her will and not my own and I like it that way.
I enjoy being spanked. It doesn't usually matter to me much about what brings me to the point of receiving the spanking. There has been a lot of impromptu spankings, role-play ones and just because spankings. All are great. Last night, bondage took my weaknesses and threw them away for awhile. I like that!
Showing posts with label Miss Jenn. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Miss Jenn. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 17, 2016
Saturday, July 16, 2016
Miss Jenn
I have said a few times that Miss Jenn is my Disciplinarian. I have the pleasure of working with her not only on my own issues but also as a second bottom in some of the sessions. This is a woman who truly cares about the clients that she sees. She delights in her art-work. Taking an unmarked bottom and coloring it with the shades of red that please her most at that moment.
I have been spanked by many Women over the years. She is the only professional disciplinarian I have ever seen. I cannot compare her to any other professional disciplinarian. I can compare her to the Tops, Dommes, Mistresses and professional Dominatrices that have spanked me. Each of them were friends at the time and all of them enjoyed spanking. Miss Jenn definitely measures up to them and surpasses some!
When I met Miss Jenn for the first time, I was literally shaking from nerves. For the first time ever, she was someone that I didn't know ahead of time. I had no idea of her style and very little idea of her personality. I had chosen not to just meet with her first and set a time for a spanking later. For each of us, we were going into this without ever seeing the other's face. There had been a short phone call and a couple of emails in the way of introduction and contact.
I felt so vulnerable. It is very different going over the knee of someone you know and have seen spanking others. Taking that step to go ahead with the spanking felt like jumping into the deep end of the pool and not being confident in my swimming skills. Miss Jenn knows and understands this about the new people she sees. She just has a way with others, the know-how to put them at ease with her.
For those of you who have been thinking about scheduling a session with her, I encourage you to just do it. She knows her stuff, she knows people and she certainly knows spanking!
I have been spanked by many Women over the years. She is the only professional disciplinarian I have ever seen. I cannot compare her to any other professional disciplinarian. I can compare her to the Tops, Dommes, Mistresses and professional Dominatrices that have spanked me. Each of them were friends at the time and all of them enjoyed spanking. Miss Jenn definitely measures up to them and surpasses some!
When I met Miss Jenn for the first time, I was literally shaking from nerves. For the first time ever, she was someone that I didn't know ahead of time. I had no idea of her style and very little idea of her personality. I had chosen not to just meet with her first and set a time for a spanking later. For each of us, we were going into this without ever seeing the other's face. There had been a short phone call and a couple of emails in the way of introduction and contact.
I felt so vulnerable. It is very different going over the knee of someone you know and have seen spanking others. Taking that step to go ahead with the spanking felt like jumping into the deep end of the pool and not being confident in my swimming skills. Miss Jenn knows and understands this about the new people she sees. She just has a way with others, the know-how to put them at ease with her.
For those of you who have been thinking about scheduling a session with her, I encourage you to just do it. She knows her stuff, she knows people and she certainly knows spanking!
Monday, July 11, 2016
Stressful times and Good Friends
I went and saw the movie The secret lives of pets, today. Parts of it had me laughing like crazy. Spending time with a couple of friends while there just added to the fun. I saw the personalities of some of my pets both past and present in this movie. It brought up some great memories.
Doing something like this just makes all the stress slide to the back. I was able to relax, laugh and totally forget about any and all of the stresses in my life. It is so important to find things like this that you can do to counter those stressful times. For me it is a breath of fresh air that is so needed and welcomed.
Yesterday, I also had the same sort of experience. I was able to spend time with Miss Jenn. We did some spanking, made a few videos, got caught up on what has been going on in our lives and laughed and laughed. It is awesome to have someone in your life that you can totally be yourself with. I am blessed to have many friends like that. Time spent with them is very precious.
Miss Jenn is also my disciplinarian and Momma Jenn in ageplay. When she points and says, *take your jeans off*, there is no hesitation. We are good friends and have a many faceted relationship. There is never a dull moment for sure. It is easy for me to go from being her submissive to being her friend. There is an easy flow between us that we each nurture.
Mickey is my Dominant and my life partner. With her, I can be myself, the good, bad and the ugly. She accepts where I am, encourages me, and loves me through it all. I do the same for her. She is my best friend! This relationship didn't just appear, we have worked hard at it over the years and it has been worth every giggle and tear.
Friendship doesn't just happen. Like so many things, it must be worked at, fed and nurtured. Having a close friend or two is worth the time and effort. The blessings and joy it brings is something that money could never buy. Being able to turn to a friend during stressful times is a great gift. I encourage you to nurture your friendships. I don't think you will be disappointed.
Doing something like this just makes all the stress slide to the back. I was able to relax, laugh and totally forget about any and all of the stresses in my life. It is so important to find things like this that you can do to counter those stressful times. For me it is a breath of fresh air that is so needed and welcomed.
Yesterday, I also had the same sort of experience. I was able to spend time with Miss Jenn. We did some spanking, made a few videos, got caught up on what has been going on in our lives and laughed and laughed. It is awesome to have someone in your life that you can totally be yourself with. I am blessed to have many friends like that. Time spent with them is very precious.
Miss Jenn is also my disciplinarian and Momma Jenn in ageplay. When she points and says, *take your jeans off*, there is no hesitation. We are good friends and have a many faceted relationship. There is never a dull moment for sure. It is easy for me to go from being her submissive to being her friend. There is an easy flow between us that we each nurture.
Mickey is my Dominant and my life partner. With her, I can be myself, the good, bad and the ugly. She accepts where I am, encourages me, and loves me through it all. I do the same for her. She is my best friend! This relationship didn't just appear, we have worked hard at it over the years and it has been worth every giggle and tear.
Friendship doesn't just happen. Like so many things, it must be worked at, fed and nurtured. Having a close friend or two is worth the time and effort. The blessings and joy it brings is something that money could never buy. Being able to turn to a friend during stressful times is a great gift. I encourage you to nurture your friendships. I don't think you will be disappointed.
Friday, April 15, 2016
Severe Spanking
Ever had a (consensual) spanking that left you bruised for days? A spanking that you were still reminded of days later, every time you sat down? I have, recently.
Mickey and Miss Jenn listened to me and then planned together a very specific session for me. More details of it are in the blog titled Healing & Closure, from March 16th. Miss Jenn laid into me very seriously. Please note, that I asked for this and gave over total control.
Before any of this took place a rapport and relationship had been established. I certainly don't recommend anyone just jumping into a session like this. For me trust had to be built and it was. I had an idea of what to expect. I knew it would be severe and that I would cry.
I had been looking for the right woman to do this with me for quite some time. Not only did I have to be willing to go further than I have before, she too needed to be able to take me there. It was emotionally and physically charged.
The spanking I received is by far the most intense I have ever experienced. According to Miss Jenn, I have a very high pain tolerance. She definitely got a work out as well. She had to help me get past that threshold of pain all the while making sure we both were safe.
I thought today about the bruising that I had for days. Recently, I fell and had to be taken to the hospital. When the nurse came in to give me an injection in the bottom, my first thought was, *do I have any bruises right now?* You know that if I did, I would have been asked about them. I wouldn't have minded explaining. I can imagine that it might have been uncomfortable for them though. Note to self: After a severe spanking, do nothing that might land you in the ER!
Mickey and Miss Jenn listened to me and then planned together a very specific session for me. More details of it are in the blog titled Healing & Closure, from March 16th. Miss Jenn laid into me very seriously. Please note, that I asked for this and gave over total control.
Before any of this took place a rapport and relationship had been established. I certainly don't recommend anyone just jumping into a session like this. For me trust had to be built and it was. I had an idea of what to expect. I knew it would be severe and that I would cry.
I had been looking for the right woman to do this with me for quite some time. Not only did I have to be willing to go further than I have before, she too needed to be able to take me there. It was emotionally and physically charged.
The spanking I received is by far the most intense I have ever experienced. According to Miss Jenn, I have a very high pain tolerance. She definitely got a work out as well. She had to help me get past that threshold of pain all the while making sure we both were safe.
I thought today about the bruising that I had for days. Recently, I fell and had to be taken to the hospital. When the nurse came in to give me an injection in the bottom, my first thought was, *do I have any bruises right now?* You know that if I did, I would have been asked about them. I wouldn't have minded explaining. I can imagine that it might have been uncomfortable for them though. Note to self: After a severe spanking, do nothing that might land you in the ER!
Wednesday, March 16, 2016
Healing & Closure
Today I was little. I spent the day with Mommy and Daddie. I was not told that this was going to happen. It was planned without my knowledge. The day was perfect. Going out treasure hunting at different stores. All of us found something too. I even got taken out for ice cream! Daddie dropped Mommy and me off at the house. I got to color some while Mommy did dishes. Then, well, things didn't go so great. Mommy told me it was time for a nap. After a day of playing and being silly and having fun, taking a nap is not what I wanted! I wasn't a good girl at all. I didn't like being told what to do and Mommy didn't like me not obeying her either. I got angry. All of a sudden I just sort of blew up. Before I knew it, I had hit her with my stuffed elephant! My elephant is softer than even a pillow but that is not the point.
This was a re-enactment session of something that happened a long time ago. Daddie Mickey and Miss Jenn, walked me through this masterfully. For years, hitting my mother has tormented me on multiple levels. In the past, I was the only one that was NOT in trouble. The horror of seeing my mother spanked because of something I had done, as well as watching her punished because she just tried to discipline me, has been excruciating. I can't describe the guilt the grown woman has felt over this incident. Today, I experienced that guilt from the mindset of the little me. That little me broke down and cried over and over again while over Mommy's knee. The scolding that has been decades in coming, broke me. The spanking has me still not wanting to sit down. I am red and bruised and swollen and deserved every bit of it. I will never ever forget it. After *Mommy* got me calmed down and tears wiped away, she informed me that I had to tell Daddie too. Daddie came home. As a little girl in the past, things were so messed up back then that by the time my father came home that day, I couldn't wait to get my mother in trouble. Not this time. I cried again trying to tell *Daddie* what I did and that I was spanked. Then, Daddie spanked me for it too! I was told to go apologize to my Mommy. I know I got the words out and then I sobbed. I have never cried like that over something from my past. I never cried as a little girl. It all came flooding out of me, and that WAS the point.
This is something that the 3 of us had talked about for months. The two of them had a very clear understanding of what had happened back then. They both knew all too well what that memory was doing to me now, the impact on my life. They knew the places where I was stuck. We had talked about it many many times. We went over all the *what-ifs* Then, I put it all in their hands. I wanted no control. I didn't want to know when the session might happen. I didn't want any say over any part of what was going to take place. The two of them honored that. My biggest fear was that I might actually slap Miss Jenn. This was talked out over and over and over. I would have been devastated if I had actually hit her, or anyone. I am not like that.
Today was about healing. Today was about closure. Today was about a new beginning. Today was about stepping forward unhindered from the guilt.
Thank you Daddie & Mommy (Mickey & Miss Jenn)
This was a re-enactment session of something that happened a long time ago. Daddie Mickey and Miss Jenn, walked me through this masterfully. For years, hitting my mother has tormented me on multiple levels. In the past, I was the only one that was NOT in trouble. The horror of seeing my mother spanked because of something I had done, as well as watching her punished because she just tried to discipline me, has been excruciating. I can't describe the guilt the grown woman has felt over this incident. Today, I experienced that guilt from the mindset of the little me. That little me broke down and cried over and over again while over Mommy's knee. The scolding that has been decades in coming, broke me. The spanking has me still not wanting to sit down. I am red and bruised and swollen and deserved every bit of it. I will never ever forget it. After *Mommy* got me calmed down and tears wiped away, she informed me that I had to tell Daddie too. Daddie came home. As a little girl in the past, things were so messed up back then that by the time my father came home that day, I couldn't wait to get my mother in trouble. Not this time. I cried again trying to tell *Daddie* what I did and that I was spanked. Then, Daddie spanked me for it too! I was told to go apologize to my Mommy. I know I got the words out and then I sobbed. I have never cried like that over something from my past. I never cried as a little girl. It all came flooding out of me, and that WAS the point.
This is something that the 3 of us had talked about for months. The two of them had a very clear understanding of what had happened back then. They both knew all too well what that memory was doing to me now, the impact on my life. They knew the places where I was stuck. We had talked about it many many times. We went over all the *what-ifs* Then, I put it all in their hands. I wanted no control. I didn't want to know when the session might happen. I didn't want any say over any part of what was going to take place. The two of them honored that. My biggest fear was that I might actually slap Miss Jenn. This was talked out over and over and over. I would have been devastated if I had actually hit her, or anyone. I am not like that.
Today was about healing. Today was about closure. Today was about a new beginning. Today was about stepping forward unhindered from the guilt.
Thank you Daddie & Mommy (Mickey & Miss Jenn)
Thursday, March 10, 2016
Words
SPANK BOTTOM BARE DISCIPLINE STRIKE SMACK ASS SWITCH SWAT TAN BLISTER PADDLE HAIRBRUSH HIT WHIP CROP TAWSE FLOGGER WOODEN-SPOON RULER OTK SLAP SLIPPER SPANKING BACKSIDE OUCH CANE BELT STRAP STING HAND PUNISHMENT CONSEQUENCE PADDLING CORRECT 6oftheBEST CHEEKS BUNS STRIPES RED OLD-FASHIONED WELTS REAR RUMP SITSPOT BURNING BEAT THRASH OVERDUE BIRCH BUTT THWACK THUD STING LESSON CORPORAL ADMONISH ADMINISTER APPLY BRUISE MARKS MARTINET GUIDE SPATULA REDDEN WAIL SORE SWOLLEN TAIL-END BLACK&BLUE PURPLE PULL-DOWN PANTS PANTIES BOXERS TIGHTIE-WHITIES KNEE LAP STROP BRUSH HEAT HOT BLAZE WHUP BRIEFS UNDERWEAR THONG SKIRT YARDSTICK PAINT-STICK BATH-BRUSH BEND-OVER OW! ------- LOVE & FUN
This is me with Miss Jenn, my Disciplinarian.
2016
Mickey is the one behind the camera.Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Turning Away
I will admit that I enjoy the idea of being in trouble. I like that thought in my head that says, no please don't spank me. The idea of real trouble, is not so pleasant. I do not want to actually be in trouble.
I was in real distress yesterday. When I saw my actions for what they really were, it was very troubling to me. I do not wish to act like that. Defiance toward my Dominant and toward my Disciplinarian is not acceptable to me. It is not acceptable to them either, just for the record. I apologized to both of them and they read my writings. I was not punished. I didn't need to be. It was a revelation that needed to be seen and will be corrected. Even though I have the two of them in my life, most of the correction is going to be on my shoulders. At least that is how I see it. That doesn't mean that I won't be punished. It means that it is up to me to make the changes. This is for *my* good. I may at times have the mindset of a child and my inner child may be fully visible, but it is on me to make these changes for my good. I do not passively accept their guidance. My role is very active.
Miss Jenn read over the list of rules/guidelines for me and asked me how I felt I would do with them. I told her that I thought that for the first few days anyway that I would be okay with it all. Then I told her that after that, I probably would experience times of just not liking them at all. Not liking the rules and not being very happy with her or Mickey either. She nodded her head in agreement, as did Mickey.
Both of these women have a habit of digging deeper than is comfortable for me. They make me look at things in different ways and both have the mindset of teacher. Both are very dominant women. They are used to getting their own way and I know full well that when it comes to my own stubbornness, I have met my match in the two of them. Instead of scaring me off, this is comforting to me. If or when the time comes that I rebel, I know it is going to be met head on.
I am not looking forward to the first disagreement. I am not looking forward to the time when a consequence is put on me. Everything in me wants to avoid that. Knowing myself, and the way they know me, we all know that the time is going to come where I push against those boundaries. Some part of me is going to stand up and see if they are going to push back, respond, ignore or correct. I would rather that I didn't do that. I would like to just travel along in my safe little bubble here. I hate the thought of them being disappointed in me.
I don't know how I am going to stop myself from turning my back on their authority. I just know that I have to. I want that authority in my life. There is a need for it. Mickey says I close my eyes and go silent, pushing her away by my actions. I turn my back. I look away. It is a habit that needs to be broken. How do I face and accept? How do I make myself stay in that moment and accept their instruction or correction? Why do I even turn away from what I so desperately want and need in my life right now? It doesn't make sense to me at all.
I was in real distress yesterday. When I saw my actions for what they really were, it was very troubling to me. I do not wish to act like that. Defiance toward my Dominant and toward my Disciplinarian is not acceptable to me. It is not acceptable to them either, just for the record. I apologized to both of them and they read my writings. I was not punished. I didn't need to be. It was a revelation that needed to be seen and will be corrected. Even though I have the two of them in my life, most of the correction is going to be on my shoulders. At least that is how I see it. That doesn't mean that I won't be punished. It means that it is up to me to make the changes. This is for *my* good. I may at times have the mindset of a child and my inner child may be fully visible, but it is on me to make these changes for my good. I do not passively accept their guidance. My role is very active.
Miss Jenn read over the list of rules/guidelines for me and asked me how I felt I would do with them. I told her that I thought that for the first few days anyway that I would be okay with it all. Then I told her that after that, I probably would experience times of just not liking them at all. Not liking the rules and not being very happy with her or Mickey either. She nodded her head in agreement, as did Mickey.
Both of these women have a habit of digging deeper than is comfortable for me. They make me look at things in different ways and both have the mindset of teacher. Both are very dominant women. They are used to getting their own way and I know full well that when it comes to my own stubbornness, I have met my match in the two of them. Instead of scaring me off, this is comforting to me. If or when the time comes that I rebel, I know it is going to be met head on.
I am not looking forward to the first disagreement. I am not looking forward to the time when a consequence is put on me. Everything in me wants to avoid that. Knowing myself, and the way they know me, we all know that the time is going to come where I push against those boundaries. Some part of me is going to stand up and see if they are going to push back, respond, ignore or correct. I would rather that I didn't do that. I would like to just travel along in my safe little bubble here. I hate the thought of them being disappointed in me.
I don't know how I am going to stop myself from turning my back on their authority. I just know that I have to. I want that authority in my life. There is a need for it. Mickey says I close my eyes and go silent, pushing her away by my actions. I turn my back. I look away. It is a habit that needs to be broken. How do I face and accept? How do I make myself stay in that moment and accept their instruction or correction? Why do I even turn away from what I so desperately want and need in my life right now? It doesn't make sense to me at all.
Monday, January 4, 2016
My Disciplinarian
The phone call led to a little more communication and setting a time to get together. Everything just fell together in a beautiful and unexpected way. Miss Jenn of Seattle was going to step into my life in a way that no one else ever had. I dreamed of this. I wanted this. I was sure I wanted it. Then when the day did arrive, I was a bundle of nervous excitement. Heck, I didn't know what to expect. I mean, I knew I was going to be given a spanking. Just all these other thoughts came soaring through my mind too. Would I be able to let myself go and step into the role of the little girl? And, if I did embrace that role fully, would she also treat that little me with care? Could I trust her with that? Looking back, I am sure my concerns were pretty normal, but I found out that I didn't have anything to worry about. I have done a lot of role-play and age-play before. Never before was I able to let go and dive right into being that little girl. Not the way that I did during that time. Miss Jenn got it all, the shy bashful little girl to begin with, quickly followed by the willful, stubborn, defiant one who had never ever had anyone discipline her before. She and I had decided on doing a mother/daughter scene. Tackling right off the bat my disrespect for any female authority figure, starting off with what should have been my first female authority. It was the right choice for me. Miss Jenn balanced so well the need for strict discipline with a heart full of care and concern. It was perfect for what she and I were playing out. Anyone who has gone to see Miss Jenn knows that she has no problem flipping that switch from what comes across as kind friend, to no nonsense strict disciplinarian! Experiencing that had a tremendous impact on me. She stayed in character and dealt firmly with a defiant, tantrum throwing little girl. That little girl me did not want to obey her and did a lot of protesting! Staying true to what I imagine would be a maternal authority figure in every good sense of that position, Miss Jenn dealt with every action that little me gave her! I was told why I was going to be punished and when I complained and said that she had never done that to me before, she acknowledged that she hadn't and told me that she DID know that it was long overdue. Every act of willfulness on my part was met with her own willfulness, and guess who won out? Sure, wasn't the little girl me. Miss Jenn was so in-tuned to me and what was going on in me that even the hesitations on my part, the stalling, was met with *Crie Lin, I said now.* No yelling, just a firmness and my full name that sliced through my rebellion almost instantly.
Miss Jenn is most definitely a Spanker! She IS a professional disciplinarian. I was given the longest most intense spanking of my life. She addressed real things from my past and let me know in no uncertain terms that I would no longer be getting away with them. She reached in and touched that little girl part of me, reassuring that little girl that things would be different from now on. Even letting me know that even though I had been so naughty for so long and getting away with it, that did not make me a *bad* girl. I was a good girl who received a very long overdue spanking for some very naughty things.
There is so much I could continue to say. So much that happened in that time together. Really though, right now I still just want to keep it to myself. I came away from it with an incredibly sore backside and a sense of freedom that I have never experienced before. She and I will be getting together more. She is a disciplinarian from Seattle and now too, she is my disciplinarian!
Thank You Miss Jenn!
Miss Jenn is most definitely a Spanker! She IS a professional disciplinarian. I was given the longest most intense spanking of my life. She addressed real things from my past and let me know in no uncertain terms that I would no longer be getting away with them. She reached in and touched that little girl part of me, reassuring that little girl that things would be different from now on. Even letting me know that even though I had been so naughty for so long and getting away with it, that did not make me a *bad* girl. I was a good girl who received a very long overdue spanking for some very naughty things.
There is so much I could continue to say. So much that happened in that time together. Really though, right now I still just want to keep it to myself. I came away from it with an incredibly sore backside and a sense of freedom that I have never experienced before. She and I will be getting together more. She is a disciplinarian from Seattle and now too, she is my disciplinarian!
Thank You Miss Jenn!
My Journey To A Disciplinarian
When I originally wrote this I didn't have permission yet to use her name. Miss Jenn is the Disciplinarian I am referring to.
You can find her at: spankingseattle.blogspot.com
When I wrote my last post, I knew that the next day I was going to be meeting with a woman who was going to discipline me. I had stepped out of my comfort zone and asked for help. So, I wrote to the woman after having done my homework. There was no sort of picking a name out of a hat and saying *you* will do. It was important to me to be as sure as possible that she and I would be a good fit. My first email to her was polite and let me tell you, I listed my concerns right off the bat. I will also admit that as I was writing it, I was shaking like crazy even though I was seated alone in my own home. Clicking send, I didn't know if it would be seen any time soon. I didn't know if it would just be ignored. I just knew that I had to try.
I was responded to much quicker than I could have ever imagined. I was stunned that she actually addressed each one of my concerns with a candor I had in no way expected. She was very professional and at the same time answered each of my concerns in a very personal way. I had told her what I was looking for. Explaining that it would be role-play and I was very concerned that I might regress into the little girl that I was. Her response went right to the heart of the matter. She told me straight up that from the sounds of it, I probably would experience some regression. (that was not calming to me at the time, lol) And, went on to say that maybe that was exactly what I needed and that it might also prove to be very therapeutic for me.
I started filling out the application sent to me even though my heart was feeling pretty heavy at the prospect of the fees that I needed to come up with. Being the girl that I am, I didn't see that as something blocking me, just a stumbling block that I knew I would get over. Things worth having are worth fighting for. I have found that the sacrifices I make that are intended for good, 99.9% of the time have a very positive outcome. The sacrifices rarely have anything to do with me gaining something either. Almost always it has been for the good of someone else. So this too was a new step for me, a new path.
I took about 24 hours to very thoughtfully go through the application and fill it out. All of this was done with my partner's full knowledge. She was included in every step. I was and am lucky enough that she too wanted this for me. It was hard for her at first when I voiced the need for an interaction with a more feminine woman. My partner, Mickey went through feelings of not being good enough, feelings of frustrations that she couldn't meet this need in me, and more. We had for over 2 years very long and in depth conversations about this. (Mickey is extremely butch and has a huge heart. Knowing that she couldn't do this for me was something she struggled with. Oh, how she wanted to! In that talking she actually discovered something in herself as well. We had started out as Mistress and girl, we found out that what actually fit better in describing our D/s relationship with one another was Daddie Mickey and girl. Now, Daddie comes out of my mouth with all the love and respect that had come with Mistress. Her eyes light up still, every time I call her Daddie instead of Mickey. We still share a D/s relationship and have added more role-play which includes Daddie and her lil girl.) Not only did my partner come to accept that I had this need, she began looking for someone to fill it as well. There have been a handful of women who have done some age play with me. Just age-play, nothing too emotional. The connection just wasn't there for me to go forward. All of this was before I had any idea that something such as a Professional Disciplinarian even existed
I sent the application and stated the times I would pretty much always be available for a phone call. With my crazy schedule, getting a hold of me on the telephone doesn't usually mesh very well with others. The call would be to see how we each felt about the other. You know, what sort of *vibe* would there be? I didn't think anything more about it really. I had taken the steps and we would just see where it goes. I was proud of myself for going this far. Of course I hoped that she and I would connect, see that we were on the same page, and so on. When my phone rang the evening after I sent the application, it was the last thing on my mind when I answered the phone. It was her! This woman that I knew to be so very busy according to everything in her blog, found time in that schedule to call me and take me through another step in the process. I was so freakin' startled and surprised that my voice was even shaking. Getting past the nerves came pretty easy. She made it easy. She asked her questions and listened, really listened to me. There was a connection and I knew without a doubt, that not only had she accepted me as a client, she was the right one!
You can find her at: spankingseattle.blogspot.com
When I wrote my last post, I knew that the next day I was going to be meeting with a woman who was going to discipline me. I had stepped out of my comfort zone and asked for help. So, I wrote to the woman after having done my homework. There was no sort of picking a name out of a hat and saying *you* will do. It was important to me to be as sure as possible that she and I would be a good fit. My first email to her was polite and let me tell you, I listed my concerns right off the bat. I will also admit that as I was writing it, I was shaking like crazy even though I was seated alone in my own home. Clicking send, I didn't know if it would be seen any time soon. I didn't know if it would just be ignored. I just knew that I had to try.
I was responded to much quicker than I could have ever imagined. I was stunned that she actually addressed each one of my concerns with a candor I had in no way expected. She was very professional and at the same time answered each of my concerns in a very personal way. I had told her what I was looking for. Explaining that it would be role-play and I was very concerned that I might regress into the little girl that I was. Her response went right to the heart of the matter. She told me straight up that from the sounds of it, I probably would experience some regression. (that was not calming to me at the time, lol) And, went on to say that maybe that was exactly what I needed and that it might also prove to be very therapeutic for me.
I started filling out the application sent to me even though my heart was feeling pretty heavy at the prospect of the fees that I needed to come up with. Being the girl that I am, I didn't see that as something blocking me, just a stumbling block that I knew I would get over. Things worth having are worth fighting for. I have found that the sacrifices I make that are intended for good, 99.9% of the time have a very positive outcome. The sacrifices rarely have anything to do with me gaining something either. Almost always it has been for the good of someone else. So this too was a new step for me, a new path.
I took about 24 hours to very thoughtfully go through the application and fill it out. All of this was done with my partner's full knowledge. She was included in every step. I was and am lucky enough that she too wanted this for me. It was hard for her at first when I voiced the need for an interaction with a more feminine woman. My partner, Mickey went through feelings of not being good enough, feelings of frustrations that she couldn't meet this need in me, and more. We had for over 2 years very long and in depth conversations about this. (Mickey is extremely butch and has a huge heart. Knowing that she couldn't do this for me was something she struggled with. Oh, how she wanted to! In that talking she actually discovered something in herself as well. We had started out as Mistress and girl, we found out that what actually fit better in describing our D/s relationship with one another was Daddie Mickey and girl. Now, Daddie comes out of my mouth with all the love and respect that had come with Mistress. Her eyes light up still, every time I call her Daddie instead of Mickey. We still share a D/s relationship and have added more role-play which includes Daddie and her lil girl.) Not only did my partner come to accept that I had this need, she began looking for someone to fill it as well. There have been a handful of women who have done some age play with me. Just age-play, nothing too emotional. The connection just wasn't there for me to go forward. All of this was before I had any idea that something such as a Professional Disciplinarian even existed
I sent the application and stated the times I would pretty much always be available for a phone call. With my crazy schedule, getting a hold of me on the telephone doesn't usually mesh very well with others. The call would be to see how we each felt about the other. You know, what sort of *vibe* would there be? I didn't think anything more about it really. I had taken the steps and we would just see where it goes. I was proud of myself for going this far. Of course I hoped that she and I would connect, see that we were on the same page, and so on. When my phone rang the evening after I sent the application, it was the last thing on my mind when I answered the phone. It was her! This woman that I knew to be so very busy according to everything in her blog, found time in that schedule to call me and take me through another step in the process. I was so freakin' startled and surprised that my voice was even shaking. Getting past the nerves came pretty easy. She made it easy. She asked her questions and listened, really listened to me. There was a connection and I knew without a doubt, that not only had she accepted me as a client, she was the right one!
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