Fun vs punishment.... In other words, how do you punish someone who likes spanking, with a spanking? If you are a bottom like I am, you know that there is a big difference. In fun there is usually a lot less emotions that are real. (for me anyway) There can even be laughter through out the whole thing from both the Spanker and the spankee. The offenses are made up even if the role play is totally serious. There is just a completely different mindset. The release a fun spanking can bring is wonderful as well. It can do so much for both involved. It can draw them closer. It can release stress for both. Even though it can also be quite a work-out for both, it can be invigorating. It can bring a *high* with it. Fun spankings between Mickey and I have even cleared the air so to speak. It renews our bond. Bottom-line. It is Fun!
Punishment on the other hand - whole different mindset. In a punishment session, the emotions are so very real, (for me). So much so, that if I am scolded in any way, it brings a huge humbling inside of me. Mickey has given me a couple of spankings that were punishment in nature. Actually only one comes to mind and it was when I decided to stop taking all of my medications. I was just sick and tired of taking about 25 pills a day. It made sense to me to just stop and not tell anybody. I was feeling *ok* so I convinced myself I didn't need them. I think a lot of us think like that... we don't want to do something so we convince ourselves that we really don't need to. Definitely, the wrong choice for me. I did not tell Mickey any of this. The subject came up later, after I had started retaking them. I no longer remember how it came up or the circumstances around it. I told her that I had stopped taking my meds for awhile. I wasn't even thinking it was a bad thing. I was immediately questioned. ( Whatever we had been talking about went right out the window.) * Are you taking them all now? Are you taking them properly? When did this happen? What in the hell made you think it was ok? Do you realize the health risk you took? Do you know you could have died!!?* I heard her tone filled with concern and so serious. There was no anger, no raised voice, not even a sternness. For me it was all just matter-of-fact. THEN, she got silent. I mean completely, silent. I watched her and she wouldn't even look at me. That's when it hit me that I was in trouble here. I am not sure exactly what I said but it was to the effect of, *I am in big trouble, aren't I?* She told me that I was and that she was far to angry to continue the conversation at that moment. She stayed emotionally distant from me and pretty much completely silent for at least two days. Inside of me, anxiety grew, the knowledge that I had made a very wrong choice for myself in stopping my meds grew, guilty feelings grew, it was bad, all bad. It was like the next day that she then also made me tell my Mistress who was still in my life then. She was in Spain at the time and I was told to phone her and tell her as well what I had done. Thank God, she was in Spain. I had never been in real trouble much with either of them. Stefany was 100% Italian and boy did she yell! I was chewed out in multiple languages. She was so angry she was jumping from English to French to Italian. Yes I understood. She told me she wanted to ground me to my room for a week with absolutely nothing and no contact with anyone, not friends, not her, not Mickey..no electronics, no books, no writing implements, just me and me thinking about what I had done. All of that of course after she had beaten me bloody! Her words, not mine. I got an earful and was told that I would be getting the spanking of my life. (She ended up staying in Spain and I never saw her face to face again.) She and Mickey talked as well and that conversation took place well out of my hearing range. After that conversation is when I started becoming afraid. Not of the spanking. I was afraid I had been so bad that they both were going to have nothing more to do with me. I wanted Mickey to spank me by then. I knew it would not be fun or easy. I felt so bad inside, I just wanted the brokenness that I felt to be dealt with and healed. I had failed them by not taking care of myself. I was given one day like I described above and it was excruciating for me. After that is when Mickey started talking to me again. I was assured that I was still loved and wanted and would be spanked. It was all matter-of-factly told to me. The scolding and spanking would come later. And it did. This is where spanking for fun, playing spanking, takes a whole different turn for someone who loves to be spanked. Mickey scolding me brought tears to my eyes. I couldn't in any way adequately tell her how sorry I was. I was paddled with no warm up, with a large wooden paddle that actually says on it *Crie Adjuster* A paddle I had made for her but sure hated having it used. It was directly on the bare and it hurt like hell. There was nothing playful or fun in that for either one of us. I think that some people wouldn't even consider it an actual punishment spanking. But, it was. The punishment was in all of it. That time that was close to three days had just as much to do with the spanking, the punishment and I learned my lesson for sure.
A spanking for punishment works differently than one for fun. Everything about it is different. Even the demeanor of the two involved, is different. I actually want punishment spankings when I am being corrected. No matter what the correction actually is. Correction in my life is more verbal, time-out, and writing... when it is finished, it is a spanking from Mickey that again seals the bond, draws me to her and for me, brings an end to the punishment. When she is not happy with me or something I have done, the spanking after whatever the correction or punishment actually was, is brought to an end by the spanking. My world is ok again, I have been forgiven and I am loved. Maybe it is strange that we don't see these as punishment spankings. It's just the way it works for us. I rarely ever cry and that is not a sign on whether or not it was a punishment
Someone who loves spankings knows the difference between what is fun and what is punishment. I was given a punishment spanking by Miss Jenn. It was not administered harshly. It came from a place of care, concern and love. I was being punished and knew I was being punished. I was angry and hating it most of the time and I am the one who loves spankings.
Talk to your Top (or your bottom) about what the difference is for the two of you. Find out what works for you both. Again, communicate :)
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