Breaking Down The Wall

I have been told frequently lately that I am stronger than I know.  Grabbing a hold of that and truly believing it for myself isn't easy.  At least right now it isn't.  I want to move forward.  Sometimes, my whole being screams out that I just can't.  I can't take one more step.  I can't reach out one more time.  I can't face this. I can't, I can't, I can't.
Funny, how sometimes the answer is right there inside of me.  Just waiting for my screams to silence so I can hear it.
There is a rage in me.  I have kept it pretty safely walled up inside me.  Protected myself from it.  Sure, haven't wanted to see it let alone feel it.  Absolutely no way I have wanted anyone else to see it.  Knowing it is there does scare me.  I have visions of the rage of my father.  What if i am like him?  Is the potential to be like that in me?
There is a very angry, tantrum throwing little girl inside me.  I realized tonight that I have never acknowledged that anger.  Stuffing it down, hiding it away, walling it up.... none of those things are in any way actually dealing with it.  It is time to start breaking down the wall.  No dynamite, nothing drastic... just a few bricks at a time.  Acknowledging that the little girl me who went through all of this horror actually has every right to be enraged.