Being a Spanko

Spanko.  It is a term used to describe a person that enjoys giving or receiving spankings in the adult world.  I am one that enjoys receiving.  There are so many different reasons why someone enjoys being spanked.  There are also so many different ways of being spanked and the reasons for being spanked can be as vast as the stars in the sky.
Even though I do have a partner that enjoys spanking me, I don't see myself as someone that has a lot of experience with it.  My partner on the other hand has had so many naughty boys and girls over her knee.  She has the experiences and absolutely loves to spank.  Like me, it is her number one kink.  I can remember in the early days with her when one night after a nice warm up, she wanted to use her large wooden paddle.  I laugh now thinking about it.  She looked at the paddle and looked at me, then just shook her head.  She said, *Crie, I will break you in half if I use this on you.*  I weighed about 90 pounds at the time.  With all seriousness she told me that I needed to gain some weight so she had something to spank!  Our spanking relationship has sure had its learning curves.  She has set my backside on fire a few times over the years, all either playful, erotic or in role-play.  She does have a heavy hand but prefers her wooden implements.  I of course, prefer her hand.  The spankings are never long and drawn out and rarely ever planned.
 Shopping with her is a hilarious nightmare of embarrassment.  She loves *pervertables*.  Things that are meant for a certain use, like a wooden spoon, but is used for spanking instead of stirring.  Spankos I think can see spanking things and the possibilities that someone from the vanilla world would never dream of.  Going through the kitchen implements in a store, lights up her eyes as I just groan because I know what is coming.  She just has to try them on me, right there in the store.  Everything from the spoons and spatulas to smaller plastic cutting boards has smacked my backside in the store.  She picks something up, tries it on her hand and says, *I wonder what this feels like?* Followed immediately by, *Crie, turn around.*
My thoughts and feelings about spanking began at a very early age.  As a 5 year old, I wanted to be spanked.  Oh, God, how I wanted to know what it felt like.  But, even more than that, I wanted to know that someone cared enough about me to spank me.  Even my pretend games were about being spanked.  The only thing was that I couldn't tell anyone about it.  So many people who enjoy being spanked or even just talking about it are restricted to their own fantasies and conversations with themselves.  Being a spanko sadly often means being hidden away too.  Dreaming, hoping, longing.  Growing into an adult, my spanking fantasies did not lessen at all.  They grew as I did.  It felt sometimes like there was an emptiness inside of me that I would never be able to fill.  I know that some people spank themselves.  I am one who has never done that.  In all honesty, I don't know why I didn't.  Thinking about it now, it may have helped some with that aching need inside of me.  I just never thought about it.  That possibility just didn't enter my mind.
I have been hand spanked.  I have felt all sorts of wooden implements.  I have never felt a strap or a belt.  I have never been caned.  We have a rubber ruler that gives quite the sting and gets my attention in a hurry.  Others I know struggle with the thought of how you can care for someone and still spank them.  Personally, I think it has more to do with people confusing it with child abuse than anything else.  Most every spanko that I know wouldn't dream of actually spanking a child.  It is about adults, consenting adults, and trust me, each side really wants it.