It is okay to keep going through the pain and it is okay to let go before you break.
How many of us truly listen to what our bodies are telling us?
Whether it is physical or emotional, we do reach a breaking point.
It is okay to hurt all the way through.
It is also important to recognize when the breaking point is near.
These are the thoughts that have been running through my head. I have/had taken a break from intense emotional work. I recognized that I was too near my breaking point. Where that place is for me, changes. As I learn, understand and heal, my ability to push forward increases. I find that I can do more, tolerate more and push a little further each time.
Learning that I could continue even when it hurt, was important for me. Sometimes the emotional pain feels overwhelming. There are times that it feels like there is no way I can go on. It has reached points where I no longer wished to be alive.
An understanding that I have a breaking point was and is extremely important. Never again do I want to be in that place where I contemplate suicide. I know all too well the impact of suicide on those left behind. I also know the ugliness of feeling that the world would be a better place without me in it. I know the pain of wanting everything to just end. Catching those signals before they become out of control is one way of stopping myself before I reach the breaking point.
Stopping before a breaking point is not a failure. It is not the end of the road. For me it is like taking a deep long breath. It is allowing my body to rest, recover and heal before continuing. I am sure that athletes can relate to this. If they push to the breaking point they run the risk of serious injury that takes them out of the game for awhile. There is still pain. It is okay to hurt from the hard work. It is okay to step back before you break. Step back, breathe and regroup.
Showing posts with label Self-Discipline. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self-Discipline. Show all posts
Friday, March 11, 2016
Saturday, February 27, 2016
Look Around
When dealing with emotional issues, I can develop tunnel vision. There are times that I can only see the bad that swirls around the dark things from the past. I have a tendency to allow myself to be drawn in too deeply. It isn't that I am trying to hurt myself. For me it comes more from a stubbornness that wants to meet most things head on. I will push myself too hard, ONCE I get started. It is difficult at times for me to put the brakes on and take a break.
There is a need to step out of the horrors and take a look around. Consciously notice the light that is around. Press into the good things in my life. The monsters in the past can and do invade the present at times. If I have lost control of my steps, I must fight just as hard to get myself back into the present. The present is where the love is. The present holds the good that I desire to embrace. There is a need to breathe. Must allow my eyes to see the beauty that is right here, to wash them clean from the horrors that have colored my vision.
Look around. Notice the way the breeze makes the branches dance. Watch as the leaf rolls and plays tag with the sidewalk. See the ears of my puppy flap wildly as she runs across the floor. Examine the rose petal or the blade of grass. Embrace the living breathing things and remember that I too am a part of them.
Look around. Plant both feet firmly on the ground. With eyes as the window to my soul, fill them with beauty and light. Scan the snow covered mountain. Look for the face in the moon. Watch as the clouds play hide and seek with the stars. Breathe girl and let the night air stroke your face.
When I cannot do this for myself - - - Guide me with your voice. Take me to the beach as I sit wrapped in your arms, safe. Build the vision of the beauty we each know is there. Show me with a whisper, while you also push the monsters away. Keep reminding me who you are until I can again recognize your face. Stay with me until you are confident I have left that place.
There is a need to step out of the horrors and take a look around. Consciously notice the light that is around. Press into the good things in my life. The monsters in the past can and do invade the present at times. If I have lost control of my steps, I must fight just as hard to get myself back into the present. The present is where the love is. The present holds the good that I desire to embrace. There is a need to breathe. Must allow my eyes to see the beauty that is right here, to wash them clean from the horrors that have colored my vision.
Look around. Notice the way the breeze makes the branches dance. Watch as the leaf rolls and plays tag with the sidewalk. See the ears of my puppy flap wildly as she runs across the floor. Examine the rose petal or the blade of grass. Embrace the living breathing things and remember that I too am a part of them.
Look around. Plant both feet firmly on the ground. With eyes as the window to my soul, fill them with beauty and light. Scan the snow covered mountain. Look for the face in the moon. Watch as the clouds play hide and seek with the stars. Breathe girl and let the night air stroke your face.
When I cannot do this for myself - - - Guide me with your voice. Take me to the beach as I sit wrapped in your arms, safe. Build the vision of the beauty we each know is there. Show me with a whisper, while you also push the monsters away. Keep reminding me who you are until I can again recognize your face. Stay with me until you are confident I have left that place.
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
Impulse
I sometimes have a very impulsive nature. My partner would likely respond to that with, "REALLY, ya think?" At least my intentions are good ones for the most part. I am guilty of having an idea and running with it. Only later, bringing the people around me up to speed on it. I did just that last night, with an idea I had. I did finally slow myself down and completely fill my partner in on everything. Which she was agreeable to, by the way. She thought my idea was a pretty good one and wished that she had been brought in at the start of it, or even told first, instead of brought in at the middle. I do the same thing with conversations with her so much of the time. I will be thinking about something and having a conversation in my head. Sort of weighing the pros and cons of it, or some such thing. Then, I will start talking to her about it. I can't put a number on how many times she has stopped me as I was speaking and asked me if I could bring her in at the start of the conversation. lol. She laughingly reminds me that she wasn't present at the beginning of the conversation because it was in my head!
Impulse can get a little crazy. I do impulse shop. When I am shopping I will fill the cart with things that catch my eye. I am certain at that moment that I want them. Then, thankfully for our budget, about two aisles later I will take that thing out of the cart and lay it on a shelf somewhere. Deciding then that it is not something that I really need. I am likely one of the stock-person's worse nightmares. I don't mean to do it. I probably could retrace my steps and return the item where I found it. But, I don't. It also doesn't matter what sort of store it is either, gift shop, grocery store, department store... you name it, I have done it! If I think I want it, I just can't resist that urge to put it in the cart right then. Luckily for me, once that urge and impulse has died down and I look at the item again, I can talk myself out of it. *I don't really need it, Next month I will have more money, I might find it for a better price, If I wait, the money could go toward something else I want, How many T-shirts does one girl need?, etc.* (I confess, I have a t-shirt collection) I have an elephant collection as well. What I don't have is a t-shirt with an elephant on it, lol! Maybe it is time for a shopping trip?
Thinking a little about the ID, Ego & Super Ego. That sort of plays out in my shopping style. The impulse of thinking I just *need* that thing right now, figuring out how to meet that need by tossing the item in my basket and then talking myself out of it. (or talking sense into myself)
Impulse is a sudden strong, and unreflective urge or desire to act. Not stopping to think it through. When that impulse is for wanting a thing, then instant gratification shows up. That is what I feel when I toss that item in my basket. When I talk myself out of it, a lot of the times it isn't a *no* to myself. It is more of a *wait*. Delayed gratification. Yes, I am going somewhere with this.
Delayed gratification is defined as the ability to resist the temptation for an immediate reward and wait for a later reward. Generally delayed gratification is associated with resisting a smaller but more immediate reward in order to receive a larger or more enduring reward later. A lot of things have been written about and studied that shows, having the ability to delay gratification can lead to a lot of other positive outcomes in a person's life. Like, academic success, physical and psychological health. (this is a sort of paraphrase of a definition) What it shows me is that learning to rein in our/my impulses can have a very positive effect. Consider, that cupcake that sure seems to be screaming for you to purchase and eat it. Controlling that impulse can sure add to better physical well-being. Staying in and doing the required assignment and resisting the urge to go out to the party is or should help the grades improve.
Controlling our impulses, learning to control them doesn't end with childhood. For some people, they actually have a disorder that impedes them from controlling impulses. Most of us don't have that problem. We have the ability to control the impulse, even if like in my case it comes a little later than I would like. When we don't rein in some of our impulses we can cause serious harm to ourselves and to others. To me, it all comes back to self discipline. A continuous teaching of myself. I am fortunate to have others in my life that have no problem helping me rein in those impulses and exercise discipline when I fall short. Friends and family around us can be great teachers and role models of impulse control. You don't have to be in a D/s or spanking relationship to grow in your impulse control. Even in a relationship where I am disciplined, if I don't want to change, grow, learn, I am not going to. I believe that if you want it (better impulse control) you can have it! Takes a wanting to, the willingness and practice. Simple, right?
Impulse can get a little crazy. I do impulse shop. When I am shopping I will fill the cart with things that catch my eye. I am certain at that moment that I want them. Then, thankfully for our budget, about two aisles later I will take that thing out of the cart and lay it on a shelf somewhere. Deciding then that it is not something that I really need. I am likely one of the stock-person's worse nightmares. I don't mean to do it. I probably could retrace my steps and return the item where I found it. But, I don't. It also doesn't matter what sort of store it is either, gift shop, grocery store, department store... you name it, I have done it! If I think I want it, I just can't resist that urge to put it in the cart right then. Luckily for me, once that urge and impulse has died down and I look at the item again, I can talk myself out of it. *I don't really need it, Next month I will have more money, I might find it for a better price, If I wait, the money could go toward something else I want, How many T-shirts does one girl need?, etc.* (I confess, I have a t-shirt collection) I have an elephant collection as well. What I don't have is a t-shirt with an elephant on it, lol! Maybe it is time for a shopping trip?
Thinking a little about the ID, Ego & Super Ego. That sort of plays out in my shopping style. The impulse of thinking I just *need* that thing right now, figuring out how to meet that need by tossing the item in my basket and then talking myself out of it. (or talking sense into myself)
Impulse is a sudden strong, and unreflective urge or desire to act. Not stopping to think it through. When that impulse is for wanting a thing, then instant gratification shows up. That is what I feel when I toss that item in my basket. When I talk myself out of it, a lot of the times it isn't a *no* to myself. It is more of a *wait*. Delayed gratification. Yes, I am going somewhere with this.
Delayed gratification is defined as the ability to resist the temptation for an immediate reward and wait for a later reward. Generally delayed gratification is associated with resisting a smaller but more immediate reward in order to receive a larger or more enduring reward later. A lot of things have been written about and studied that shows, having the ability to delay gratification can lead to a lot of other positive outcomes in a person's life. Like, academic success, physical and psychological health. (this is a sort of paraphrase of a definition) What it shows me is that learning to rein in our/my impulses can have a very positive effect. Consider, that cupcake that sure seems to be screaming for you to purchase and eat it. Controlling that impulse can sure add to better physical well-being. Staying in and doing the required assignment and resisting the urge to go out to the party is or should help the grades improve.
Controlling our impulses, learning to control them doesn't end with childhood. For some people, they actually have a disorder that impedes them from controlling impulses. Most of us don't have that problem. We have the ability to control the impulse, even if like in my case it comes a little later than I would like. When we don't rein in some of our impulses we can cause serious harm to ourselves and to others. To me, it all comes back to self discipline. A continuous teaching of myself. I am fortunate to have others in my life that have no problem helping me rein in those impulses and exercise discipline when I fall short. Friends and family around us can be great teachers and role models of impulse control. You don't have to be in a D/s or spanking relationship to grow in your impulse control. Even in a relationship where I am disciplined, if I don't want to change, grow, learn, I am not going to. I believe that if you want it (better impulse control) you can have it! Takes a wanting to, the willingness and practice. Simple, right?
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