Being Me

"If your feet are firmly planted on the ground, you will never be able to dance."  A quote by the author, Iris Johansen.  It sure makes me think.  Sometimes I pay too much attention to what someone else might think of me.  I don't want to be seen as a *crazy* person.  I have said that I have my feet firmly planted on the ground.  Meaning of course that I was stable and knew what I was doing.  Meaning that I was grounded in reality.  But, if I am so rigid, how can I dance?  Be creative?  Express myself and simply be who I am?
So many times we hide pieces of ourselves even from our closest friends.  Fearing judgment and rejection.  Definitely not wanting to be seen as crazy or weird!  I have come to a place in my life where I no longer care who knows that I enjoy being spanked.  It is very much a part of who I am.  Now, I don't go about flaunting it, I simply don't hide it and I am not embarrassed or ashamed by it.
Being a spanko is a part of myself that I have been able to completely embrace.
Not every one can.  Some people are in a relationship where their partner doesn't even know they are into spanking.  Some people have partners who do know and want nothing to do with it.  It must be very frustrating to say the least.  I have wondered about the adult who has yearned to be spanked for years and has not been able to find the right person, situation or courage to actually have that desire met.  I have wondered if that unmet desire then turns into an obsession.  I think for myself that it did go that way.
I felt trapped with this longing inside of me.  Yeah, my feet were firmly planted on the ground, but I sure wasn't free to dance.  I wasn't free to just be me.  I longed to be spanked and really had no idea how to go about actually receiving one.  I sure didn't feel like I could start a conversation about it with any of my friends.  Some days, I couldn't really think about anything else.
I honestly do not know what changed in me.  Just over 15 years ago I decided that I really had been living a lie.  I felt that I was being who and what everyone else wanted me to be.  I was not happy at all.  It was a hard decision, but I decided to no longer live a lie.  I wasn't living a lie on purpose.  I was not trying to deceive anyone.  I just was in no way being who I really am with anyone.
Now my feet are not as firmly planted on the ground.  I can dance!