Mickey and I share a D/s relationship that probably could also be correctly described as a DD relationship. (D/s - Dominant and submissive, DD - Domestic discipline) There is no doubt that She is the head of household. Both relationships came from a foundation of trust that was built through constant communication. There was and still is a learning curve going on. Mickey has my best interest at heart when she talks to me about something in my life. She wants me safe physically and emotionally. The discipline often revolves around something that needs to change. A real problem for her right now is my refusal to eat and the fact that when I do finally agree to eat, or remember that I need to, I won't eat anything but a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. This actually has been going on for months now, at least 4. The *discipline* process began with a lot of communication. She has wanted to understand why I am not eating. Sometimes, I just forget. Food has never been important to me. Mickey has seen me over the years get stuck on just one food. I will want that food every day. But until recently it was often just a certain fruit and I still ate small normal type meals. I got stuck on wheat chex cereal for awhile and there was no less than 3 boxes in the house at any given time. Because, I was still eating other meals with other foods, it was okay. This time, I don't want any food at all. I do forget, but it has also grown now to the point that even when I do remember, I just don't want it. I have struggled with body issue things in the past and was anorexic. At my lowest I weighed 64 pounds. I am at 121 right now. Not a *bad* weight for my 5'1" frame. One of the problems for me is that I don't exactly have the curves that come with being a grown woman. So when I look in the mirror, I see a barrel with arms and legs. Even at my tiniest, I still had a stomach pouch and no amount of exercise made it go away. It infuriated me. Mickey and I talked about all of this. I had/have the freedom to be completely honest without judgment. She listens. She encourages and makes suggestions. She also brings truth into my body image vs. the reality of it. Communication is vital and with us it is constant. She tells me her thoughts and concerns on this whole *food* thing as well as her wants. With the communication happening and continuing, she started asking me what I wanted to eat, when it came time for us to have a meal. Then came just being presented with a plate with the expectation that I at least take a few bites. The discipline increased and has now moved into the *stage* where I have been told that I will eat at least one sandwich during the time that I am awake. Tonight, I was presented with a protein shake that I was expected to finish and told that I will also eat at 2:00, no excuses. I know full well that if I choose to not eat a sandwich at 2:00 there will be consequences. The reason I am telling this is to show one of the ways discipline is taking place in my life and in our relationship. It didn't go from her noticing that I was eating just one food, to demanding change from me or punishing me for it. It didn't go from seeing that I stopped eating completely to demanding that I eat. There was and is a process and not all situations are the same. She has, can and will put her foot down when she thinks that is needed and do so immediately. With this one, it was a slower path to her putting her foot down and it is definitely *down*. The whole *process* was and is discipline with us. With this one ,Mickey has tried to understand more and guide me to healthier choices. She hasn't spanked me or done anything that others might see as punishment. We have gone through other things similar to this, a similar path, that at this point, often included a threat, or question from her, "Maybe I should tell *so & so* what you are doing and let *her*deal with you." It is not that Mickey is incapable, not by any means. That threat comes because Mickey knows me so well and herself. It comes in part sometimes because she doesn't want the lover in her to hold her back from dealing with me more harshly if need be. She has been that same *threat* to other girls from other dominants and not one of those girls wants to be sent to her to be dealt with! There was a friend in our lives that Mickey knew if I was forced to tell her what I was doing/not doing, just the threat of me needing to tell her and the scolding I would get (because I had experienced it before) was enough to break through whatever resistance I was still trying to hold on to. They never are and never have been empty threats. I know that Mickey is not far from spanking me. She is also likely not far from getting Miss Jenn involved. When Mickey has gone to involving someone else, She monitors it as well. Anything and everything this other person had told me to do, from corner time, writing lines, restrictions, etc, Mickey has made sure they were completely finished or followed exactly as instructed. It was not a pleasant experience for me.
Miss Jenn is also my Disciplinarian. This relationship too has taken open, honest communication and building trust. Just like with Mickey, I have no doubt that if she says she is going to do something, that she will. They each have my respect and even though I am the one being corrected or spanked, even punished, I know that I too am respected. Respect is another pillar of discipline, right up there with communication and trust.
Discipline is one of those subjects that could take hours and hours of writing blogs, exploring the different aspects, methods, what it means, etc. Something to think about for sure.
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