Submission

So, I asked for help in a subject to write about today.  What I got was, why do I feel the connection I have with Mickey when She is completely in dominant mode?
For me, it has to do with feeling complete.  Mickey meets this other side in me.  Her confidence and strength shine through and beckon to me.  I meet them with my gift of submission and surrender.  Between us over the years our relationship has evolved.  Trust has been built.  Reliance on one another has been tested multiple times.  I have a need to submit to another woman.  Not just any woman.  There has to be this tug inside of me.  There has to be a relationship that continues to grow.
In this relationship, Mickey completes me.  Our strengths and weaknesses are intertwined.  She has taken the time to know me intimately on many levels.
I know that when I give my submission to her, she welcomes it with open arms.  It is something she treasures as well.  I complete her in a lot of the same ways.
Strong dominant confident women will always draw my attention.  It is the way I am wired.  That doesn't mean that I am the opposite.  Outside of that relationship I am strong and confident and in some situations, very dominant.  I am still just as strong, etc inside of that relationship as well.  It is a choice that I make to give my submission.
When Mickey or Miss Jenn are in that dominant headspace, my response is one of submission.  The relationships have developed enough that they accept and welcome that gift of submission as well.  I do not submit to just anyone.  As a submissive, I am strong and confident and still have a lot to give to the dominant in my life.

My Opinion

Sometimes people do things that to me seem like a form of manipulation.  Like, you know they are upset with you and you ask them to please share their thoughts and feelings and they tell you that they need more time first.  I guess there are times where this might be valid.  But in a D/s relationship?  Is it ever okay to tell your Top that you won't share your thoughts and feelings when directly asked to?  That idea just doesn't sit very well with me.
I have said that I need a few minutes to pull myself together a little, and then shared what I was feeling.  But, ignoring the Top?  Deliberately putting off the discussion?  I really don't think it is a good idea.  Maybe it is just me.
Are we ever suppose to withhold ourselves from our Top?  In the case I stated here, I think the bottom is in a way trying to also punish the Top.  Manipulate and punish...not good.  Maybe it is just this person's way of sorting through feelings and even stepping back to look at the relationship.  I still think it is wrong.  Just my opinion.

You deserve a Spanking

This is one of the things that |I do enjoy about living in a D/s household.  Of course there is always the playful bratting now and again.  There is also, the reward spankings.  Spankings given simply for pleasure.  Not a punishment or correction.  Not a maintenance or reminder.  Just a sweet reward given for pleasure.
Playful bratting and being spanked for it is a lot of fun.  That slap against my bottom as I walk past her, always brings a grin.  But, when she tells me that I have been so good and will get a good girl spanking, my heart just sings.  I know it will be on the bare, it always is.  I know my backside will end up red and so wonderfully warm.  I will know without looking that there is a smile on her face too.  It is a fun time.  It is often a very intimate time as well.
When I was brought into the bdsm lifestyle, one of the things that I was told was to ask for a spanking rather than trying to force one to happen.  I was told to simply, ask.  The bratting was unwelcome and unwanted.  My need to be spanked was understood and taken into consideration.  At the same time, I was taught that with this person, spanking was more of a reward.  At first, it seemed so wrong to me to ask.  Wasn't there suppose to be a situation or event that calls for a spanking?  Something like, doing A + B = C?  Nope, in that relationship, it was that I was to state that I was feeling the need to be spanked.  When it could be done, it was.
I have carried some of this early training over into my relationship with Mickey as well.  I still play around her and push those buttons that I know will likely lead to a spanking.  I also simply just ask.  Hearing her say too that she thinks it is time for a good girl spanking, is oh so wonderful!

Submission

Like a Prayer... a song by Madonna.  I have been listening to it tonight.  It has always spoken to me of a D/s relationship.
 Life is a mystery.  Everyone must stand alone.  I hear You call my name and it feels like home.  When you call my name it's like a little prayer, I'm down on my knees, I want to take you there.  In the midnight hour I can feel your power, just like a prayer. You know I'll take you there.  Just like a prayer, your voice can take me there.
As a submissive, it is how I feel.
Sometimes, I see things differently.  This song speaks to me of both sides in a D/s relationship.  It touches the need in me to submit.  *I hear You call my name and it feels like home*  There is a tug inside me that wants to respond.  I want to be of service.  I want to help.  At the same time, it is a very protected place.  Submission is never demanded of me, it is a gift given.  For those that might not know, a submissive is in no way a doormat.  A submissive gives and serves from a place of strength.  There is so much garbage out there about what a D/s relationship is.  Submissives portrayed as weak, worthless, ignorant... Why would one person decide to serve another?  Why would someone decide to submit to someone else?  That person has to be weak-willed or crazy.  SO NOT TRUE!
Mickey has been my Dominant almost from day one.  Wanna know how it began?  It began with Her absolutely treasuring me.  She showered me with care and concern.  She did nothing without my complete understanding and permission.  She built trust and demanded communication.  She never ever demanded respect.  She showed me what respect was by respecting me.  She showed me what love is by loving me.  Not all D/s relationships have or need to have the component of love or sexual intimacy.  In my experience, love has grown with respect in the two strong D/s relationships I have had and in every D/s couple I personally know of.  Some of the couples only ever came together in a dungeon setting and still a love for one another grew and was visible to outsiders.
Mickey was not my first *Mistress* or Dominant. (I am sure She is shaking her head reading this, because Mistress is not how she describes herself anymore)  I was introduced to BDSM by a friend that I didn't know was a Pro Dominatrix.  We got around to the subject of spanking which was all I knew and dreamed of.  Boy, was I in for a surprise.  Stefany, showed me things and made me feel things that I could not have ever even dreamed of.  It was new ground for her as well.  She had never played with a girl before.  She had never had a girl and didn't know that she might want one until she met me and got to know me.  She helped me find the submissive in me and she helped bring it out.  I wanted to submit to her.  With her as well, it began with being treasured.  Absolutely everything was consensual.  I was like a kid in a candy store and I wanted to try everything!  I was held back.  Reins put on me that still make me laugh as I think about it.  I was trying to run forward into everything and to experience as much as possible.  Being told to wait or that I wasn't ready yet, frustrated me.  But, I learned to trust.  I learned to communicate.  I learned the right way to do things.  I am not just talking about the right way to serve a cup of coffee, although I did that.  I was taught how to keep myself safe.  I was taught where pain could be applied and where it should never be.  I was taught the why behind things.  I was taught about safe words.  I was taught about negotiation, soft and hard limits. I received so much education along with experiences.  My training and learning still continues with Mickey.
For me a D/s relationship is so much more intimate and so much closer than any other type of relationship I have ever experienced.  Maybe because there has to be so much communication and trust.  We have a D/s relationship and we are life partners.  We are best friends and lovers.  In the early years I use to joke with her that she needed to switch hats for a minute because I wanted to talk to my Mistress or my Lover.  I can't imagine living my life without also having the opportunity to express my submission.  I have played with, scened with,  other Dominants and for that period of time, I gift them my submission.  That is far different from living it.  I am a submissive.  I am a strong willful mature and intelligent woman as well.  I have been very dominant out in the world, with a successful career and that doesn't make me any less of a submissive.  I can proudly say that I am a submissive.  Better yet, I am Mickey's submissive!